Life Changes

Ok so its been many months since I last posted a blog and for good reason. I wondered how long it would take me before I let the whole world in on whats going on in my life so here it goes. After a lot of soul searching I have divorced my wife. Over the past few years I have struggled with this feeling that something wasnt right in my life but I never wanted to face it head on. Im not sure if it was the security of 19 years of marriage or the fear of "not knowing" that was holding me back. When I first began my quest to loose weight I told a lot of people that one of the first thing that you have to do in order to loose weight is find out what is depressing you and causing you to turn to food for comfort, what I was not ever willing to tell anyone is I knew what it was March 2006 that was making me so unhappy. I struggled through the weight loss alone, and went to many marathons by myself because we just didnt have the same goals or interest and it was pushing us further and further from each other. Over the past 9 months or so I have noticed that I have gained weight back and I reached a point where it was my life or change and I have chosen change. Some of you wont understnd my reasoning and thats ok I dont expect for you to because you dont and havent lived my life.
On the positive side of this my children are doing great and have adjusted better then I thought they would. I have met someone who is wonderful and makes me happy, she also is a runner and pushes me to do my best and not give up. She has a wonderful heart and great personality and we share a lot of the same interest. I have began to loose the weight that I gained back but i know its not going be easy but at least its only 59 lbs instead of 187 lbs. I am mainly writing this blog because I have heard the whispers and wanted to set everyones mind straight. Im looking forward to the Huntsville Half Marathon as it is my first big race to direct and I never realized how much goes into putting one of these on. Hope to see a lot of you there.

Colton's Graduation

Have you ever done something In your life that you thought you were doing correctly and then when you completed what you were doing you started wondering if you did it right. That's where I am today. Colton graduates on Saturday and it has weighed heavily on my mind. I just keep asking myself did I do it right? Did I give him all of the tools he will need to be a productive member of society.
If he fails it has to be my fault and I have to take responsibility for it because it will mean I left something out that was important.

For as Happy as I am about Colton Graduating I am also sad because so many memories have been going through my head. The times he and I have spent together good and bad has given us a tight bond and even though hes not moving away I feel like Im loosing my little buddy the one that when he was just a yr old helped me put together his own toddler bed so that his new sissy could have the crib. I remember the times when I was in the police academy and working nights and having to sleep and study during the day and He would come crawl in the bed and cuddle up next to me and wake me up and the time when he was 10 and decided to play dirt clod wars with friends only to end up a the hospital getting stitches in his head from the rock no one new was in that last clod of dirt.

It is just crazy how you can go from the ultimate joy of your children being born to the internal struggle of knowing that they have become adults and you have to let them go and face the world.

I am so proud of Colton for what He has accomplished and I know that this is just the beginning for him.

Way to go little man I love you......

8 miles and feeling great

I went out this morning aggravated because of work and the fact I had to take care of a project from home which delayed when I got to run. I went out with six miles as the distance I was going to run because I just didn't want to run more with the mood I was in. About halfway though my run I got a great phone call from a friend on my cell. Its weird how sometimes you can feed off other peoples happiness to get you passed a slump but that is exactly what happened and before I knew it I had knocked out an 8 mile run and could have still ran more. I am starting to feel no soreness when I run which I have felt for some time now and I contribute that as part of what has been slowing me down. I hope this continues.

Hogs Hunt

Well its no secret that I have been battling with my weight the past few months. This is no surprise to me because I have known that it is going to be a life time battle. I decided to run the hogs hunt 50k yesterday what was I thinking was the first thought that came to my mind when I woke up at 430 to get ready. I made it out the park and set up the race clock for Paul with a few minor problems that were worked out after we started the race. I took my first fall at right after we hit the dirt trail. On that fall I hit the big toe that has been giving me grief since Christmas.
Somewhere along the course I met up with Karen and her friend Tiffany and stayed with them the rest of the race or at least with Tiffany, as Karen was doing great and went on ahead. at some point in the race the heat had become so high that I decided that for the most part I was going to finish this race walking but I was going to finish. Tiffany and I stayed together till the end. she kept telling me that if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have finished but the truth is because of her I finished. Sometimes in these long races my mind starts messing with me and if I would have been alone I would have never crossed the finish line.
Karen I want to thank you and Tiffany for listening to my endless chatter and thank you for introducing me to a knew friend.
If she has her way Ill be running the 50 miler with you and her.
I almost forgot my finish time was 8:00:59 I think the clock clicked but I think it had done so after I crossed the finish otherwise its an 8:01:00 either way I finished.

Houston Marathon Report

Well I had the worst marathon I so far on Sunday. After two weeks of training on what I thought was a broken big toe on my right foot I ran the Houston Marathon on Sunday. Everything was going good till about mile 6 when my calf started cramping on my right leg. My only thought was that my gait had changed due to the toe issue and was causing the calf to cramp. I choose to run on and it finally relaxed only to come back at mile 15 which is about the same time I started feeling really sick at my stomach. I drank water and Gatorade at every stop hoping that I would avoid dehydration. I also to some endurolytes because during rocky raccoon I had the same experience and someone gave me the endurolytes and I felt better. Well it didn't work this time, I just continued to feel worse. At mile 22 I took the beer truck up on it offer of free beer thinking that the carbs would give me the energy to continue on well at mile 24 I got to taste that beer again and it was not nice. The best part of my day was making that last turn and seeing the finish line. My finish time was 5:20:51. Horrible, Horrible, Horrible. I spent and hour and a half in Medical to top it off. I'm hoping there is a lesson to be learned from this but I just cant figure it out. Well at least I finished.

Texas Marathon Report

I ran the Texas Marathon in Kingwood today. No time to report as of this posting because I didn't listen when I crossed the finish line so I didn't get my time. I know I finished number 120 as represented by time number around my bats neck. I saw a lot of good friends out there today and other then feeling beat up. I had a lot of fun as I usually do when I run a marathon. 17 more days till Houston. I'm pretty sure I'm ready. UPDATE: My finishing time was 4hr 35 min 26 seconds